Week 27 Day 2

Today was a tough one; I was pretty worn out from last night. Last night Olivia's heart rate took a bunch of dips and I started contracting. It was so scary listening to her heartbeat slow and then barely be there. I started to get really upset especially since the nurses kept coming in and they were very concerned. The doctor ended up ordering a shot that would stop the contractions since she wasn't tolerating them. The shot made my heart race and my body shake; it was like having 10 cups of coffee. I seriously thought my heart might leap out of my chest but I kept closing my eyes and trying to calm down. Olivia pulled through and did so well; I am so proud of her. Unfortunately the whole experience left me depressed this morning and made me feel so vulnerable. I realize that I am a control freak and I have to release those tendencies because obviously I can't control everything. I have never felt so much anxiety and panic in my life. So the goal is to relax and start taking things day by day, moment by moment. Life likes to teach us little lessons and boy am I being schooled!!