Olivia is home!

On April 24th Andy and I stayed in the parent living unit with Olivia overnight before bringing her home the next day. I was nervous about bringing her home (which I now look back and laugh at) so they had us stay at the hospital for a night to get comfortable. The hospital was definitely no frills (two twin beds with mattresses probably as old as I am). Now I wish we would have gotten a good night sleep at home before bringing Olivia home because now I am always tired. The pictures of Andy and Olivia are from the night in the Parent Living Unit.

Olivia is really a good baby but the routine I have been given from the hospital takes a lot out of me. Lactation wants me to breastfeed then give Olivia a bottle and then pump. I feel like by the time I get done with the whole thing it is time to feed her again. I must confess I have started just breastfeeding once a day and the rest of the day sticking to pumping and giving her breast milk in a bottle.

So today (May 5th) Andy and I took Olivia to the doctor and she is one ounce away from being 5 pounds. I love that she is gaining weight; she loves her food!! She is a little chow hound.

Bath Time April 18th

Olivia is almost one month old here. Vonnie (Olivia's primary nurse) helped us give Olivia a bath on Sunday. I can't quite figure out if she enjoys her bath or if she thinks we are torturing her. Olivia is doing so well that she may come home this weekend. She decided to take out her own feeding tube and Vonnie left it out and Olivia has been taking all her feeds by bottle or breast. We found out that Miss Olivia really likes to eat! She definitely calls her own shots; Andy and I may be in trouble when she gets older!

April 14th First Bottle

Olivia received her first bottle today. Andy gave her the bottle and she did great; she ate about 10 mls. The nurse said Olivia did wonderful for her first bottle feeding. Andy did pretty good too.

My birthday

April 13th was my birthday and I got to spend the whole day with my little angel. She is doing so well; she is in an open crib and maintaining her temperature. She is about 3 and half pounds now. We are still doing the dry breast feeding and she does pretty well but falls asleep after a few minutes.

Olivia at 3 weeks old

Olivia was 3 weeks old on Friday. I am not really sure how to count her age because technically she was 32 weeks and 2 days and the nurses and doctors talk about corrected age vs. actual all the time.

Olivia is doing so well and the nurses were telling me that she may be in a crib sometime next week. I am so excited for her to be out of her isolet but it also scares me; her being in there makes me feel like she is extra safe. If she continues to put on weight in a crib and maintain her temperature then the only thing she will have to master is feedings on her own (no more tube through the nose) before she goes home. I can't wait to have her home but we have so much to do before she gets here. We have Olivia's room painted and it looks so pretty (light yellow) with the dark wood but that is about all we have gotten done. Thanks to Monica we at least have a car seat so we can take her home. I can't wait for Olivia to get to know her whole family and not just Andy and I. She is my little miracle and I can't wait to be with her all the time and feel like a real Mom. I desperately want to get to know her and watch her get bigger.

Enjoy the photos we took; they are mostly of her sleeping.

Olivi's First Easter April 4th

This is Olivia's first Easter, April 4, 2010. She gained weight and was 3 pounds when I called to check on her tonight. On Monday the 5th she had her first earthquake but she slept right through it. She went off her nasal canula on April 5th. She is doing so well; I am so proud of my baby girl!

First Full Day Home

I know I haven't written been on my blog lately but it has been really difficult. On March 13th I was rushed down to the operating room because Olivia's heart rate dropped and wasn't going back up. I was on the operating table and her heart rate came back up and they decided to monitor me and not do the c-section. I was literally about 5 minutes from being cut open when they changed their minds. I was monitored for about 24 hours and then moved back to the 4th floor. March 15th to the 19th were very difficult because every time I was put on the monitors her heart rate would have so many fluctuations that I was on the monitors anywhere from 3 to 4 hours at a time. Every time her heart rate went down the nurses would come running in and have me flip from side to side to get Olivia off of her cord. On the 13th she managed to flip from lying side ways (what the doctors call a transverse position) to a head down position. The problem was that Olivia's cord was above her head so she would put pressure on the cord when she bumped into my cervix. Again on March 19th Olivia's heart rate when down and the doctor did an ultrasound and decided due to Olivia's position and her heart rate he wanted me downstairs on the 3rd floor (labor and delivery) for closer observation. The operating room is seconds away from Labor and Delivery so they put high risk patients there. After a 3 min 40 second dip in Olivia's heart rate Dr Durbec decided to do the c-section.

Olivia was born March 19th at 4:18 pm. When the doctor pulled her out she let out a little cry. Dr. Durbec said she was a beautiful baby. Andy was in the operating room and held my hand the whole time. I am so glad he was there because it was very frightening to me that I was awake and being cut wide open. I could feel the pulling and tugging and it really freaked me out.

Finally I went to recovery and it took a long time for me to get feeling back in my legs and feet (a little over 4 hours). I was then taken to see Olivia in the NICU and then to my recovery room on the 5th floor. Olivia was so tiny and beautiful. When I was in the hospital I would go down and see her as much as I could. I couldn't do much but I would stand there and stare at her; my little miracle. I still have a hard time believing that Andy and I created this little creature. She is such a little fighter and just the sweetest little thing.

I was released from the hospital on the 23rd (yesterday). I had a hard time knowing that I was being released and wouldn't be just upstairs from Olivia. I would go downstairs at 3 am and at 5 am I loved being in the NICU because it is lightly lit and quiet, peaceful. The last day I was able to do skin on skin with Olivia and it was just so amazing and calming. I cannot even put into words how it made me feel or still makes me feel when I think back.

The first day home has been kind of hard. I find thoughts that make me sad or mad creeping in my mind and do my best to push them out. Part of me feels empty and alone without Olivia. I miss the little kicks and pokes I would get from Olivia and not having her home with me just makes me feel like a little piece of me is missing. I try not to think about that and just think about how good she is doing and her beautiful face. We still have so much to do before she gets here. Olivia's room isn't even close to being done and we don't even have a car seat to bring her home in. I feel bad because I know I am a little irritable lately but I just have so many different feelings and emotions and frustration. I always feel so peaceful and happy when I am at the NICU though. I was proud of Andy today because I had to go pump and so he changed Olivia's diaper and took her temperature. The videos posted show my beautiful little girl and how well she is doing.